How to make your wedding unique Part 1:
When it comes to weddings, we often get swept up in what looks the most beautiful or luxurious.
BUT, framing these choices with what feels authentic to you as couple, takes away some of the expectation of achieving something entirely aesthetically “perfect”.
Instead you can focus on choices that represent your personalities, interests & values.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t invest in what you wedding looks like, but you shouldn’t feel pressured for your day to look a certain way, just because of weddings you’ve seen online or attended.
As an example, if you’re someone who hates cake, then why would you have a cake on your wedding day, just to get that one photo?
If instead you had doughnuts because they’re your favourite food, people would immediately know that this choice felt more authentic to you. Or maybe you want to skip a “cake element” entirely!
I always think the biggest compliment a guest can give is if they say “that wedding just felt so like them”. I often think a wedding is just an extended (albeit more expensive!) dinner party.
So how would you & your partner usually host?
The Guest List
One of the biggest factors into making a wedding unique is deciding who is invited. Otherwise you might as well elope!
So many couples feel pressured to invite family members they haven’t spoken to in a decade, random friends of their parents and old school mates they’re desperate to impress.
Guests are one of the biggest expenses at a wedding, so by trimming your list, you not only save money, but you also have people around you who really matter. By having loved ones who are genuinely important to you, your day will in turn be more authentic and enjoyable.
A wedding is not a family or high school reunion….unless you want it to be!
A great guide to deciding if a person should come to your wedding would be, “would you invite them to your place for dinner?” If the answer is no, maybe reconsider!
2. Personal Vows
I could go on forever about how much I love personal vows!
They truly make a ceremony feel so more much authentic and special. It’s a rare chance for your loved ones to hear you talk about your partner with vulnerability…which is what people find terrifying about them! BUT, that is why they are so magical.
Some traditional religious ceremonies won’t allow for personal vows to be an option, so you could consider sharing them with your partner before or after the ceremony. Letters are also a beautiful idea! I have a whole blog post on how to write your own vows.
Remember, your personal vows DON’T have to share every single aspect of your relationship or everything you love about your partner!
Couples can get overwhelmed writing these, setting unrealistic expectations! Make a plan together for how you’d like to structure your vows & keep it simple. It’s a couple of minutes (if that!) to share a few words about why you love the person your entering this commitment with.
3. Food
Now, this will massively vary on what kind of food you might be serving (cocktail hour/ sit down meal) and the restrictions of catering companies, etc.
But, if you have the chance to personalise your food, then do!
Think about what meals you love to eat out & what do you cook for each other? Do you have a favourite cuisine? What meals can you remember throughout your relationship? Could you pick dishes you had out on one of your early dates?
Food is an incredible form of storytelling and instead of just the default being one chicken one veggie dish, how might you make the food you’re serving more representative of you both?
4. Invitations
So, not everyone likes to take on a massive DIY project, but I think invitations are a great task that can be kept simple.
Your invites (or maybe save the dates) are the first glimpse guests get of your wedding.
The style, colours & design set the tone for the day they can expect. If it’s brown card and muted colours, this might evoke a rustic barn wedding?Bright colours with bold fonts, maybe a modern and sleek style wedding?
Consider using online websites like Canva and creating your own invites. Invitations can be so expensive to outsource, so you’ll likely save money doing them yourselves…although beware of errors along the way that might hike up the cost!
Get creative, and use this as an arts & crafts project to spend time with your partner. Or maybe you’d like to do digital invites to save paper….the options are endless!
Keep it as simple as you’d like to & think about how the vibe of your day could be visually represented.
5. Music
Music is a very obvious way to personalise your day, but it would be remiss of me not to include it!
You can think about music for those key moments you might be including (processional, recessional, first dance), but also think about the music that shapes the rest of the day.
What music are you having during drinks reception & dinner? I suggest creating a very long playlist full of all your favourite tunes…as opposed to sticking on a random playlist and hearing a song you don’t like.
If you are DIYing your evening dance floor music, consider the order of the tracks. It’s hard to run a dance floor without a DJ, so really make sure you order the songs in a way that builds momentum and allows for breathing space.
Select music throughout your day that you and your partner love, so that whatever track you hear, you aren’t going to stop and think, “Why is that song playing”?