Having Your Wedding At Home
The pros & cons of an at home wedding + a very special piece written from a couple I married this year in their home.
This is a trend on the rise! Your home is a place you love (hopefully!), no crazy travel required and you can have more flexibility. There are obviously constraints, but as the norm moves towards more intimate weddings, I think at home weddings will increase. Or at a parents/grandparents’ house…..whoever has a decent garden maybe!
PROS
1. Ultimate Authenticity
Getting married in your own (or family/friends) home is very unique. Hundreds of weddings are held in venues over a year…but yours could be the only wedding that this house ever sees.
If you’re someone who has a space you’re deeply attached to and you love entertaining in, then having your wedding at home could be a fantastic option. If this is a home you’ve recently moved to it would be an incredible housewarming alternative.
Weddings typically reflect a couple's preferences & style, which you might find in your own home already.
2. Full Control
By not getting married at a more “traditional venue”, you have much more control over how you want the space to look and feel. No restrictions and no quick turn arounds for other couples. You get to set the rules.
For couples who have always dreamt of a DIY approach, having your wedding at home allows you so much more flexibility.
3. Convenience
As lots of couples have a wedding 1 hour+ or at even further destination venues, it can mean they won’t be able to see their venue very often and be as involved in the planning. Each trip you might take to a venue is time & money that you could have put into other elements of your wedding.
Having your celebration at home means no travel involved and the likelihood of having local vendors (celebrants, photographers, musicians, etc.) that will come to you.
4. Save money (although see cons for the counter-argument!)
Weddings at home can be considerable money savers. Venues tend to be the biggest cost for couples, so already by having your wedding at home you’ve saved thousands to tens of thousands of dollars!
Depending on your guest size you might not need to hire in any additional rentals (chairs, tables, etc.) and instead focus on small DIY decorations to give your home an extra lift.
As this is a space you’re familiar with, you’re less likely to spend money on random decorations that you thought might suit the venue when you looked round it one year ago. It’s a space you are well accustomed to, so you can purchase décor with considerably more knowledge of the space.
Assuming you have friends and family in the area, chances are you can save on set-up costs by having them help. Save on catering costs if you’re DIYing the food and on music if you’re creating a pre-made playlist.
CONS
1. Limitations
Limitations will look very different for each couple and the home in question. If your dream wedding is 10 people round for a chilled dinner and you have ample space, of course this isn’t going to be as stressful as cramming 100 people into a small garden.
While you may have the flexibility you don’t have at a venue, your house is designed to be a home and not a hotel or restaurant! From layout, to a lack of space and bathrooms, you may have to be creative and/or realistic about what your home can actually provide.
If you live in a 1 bedroom flat and you’ve dreamt of 100 guests coming round for a 3 course meal and a huge dancefloor, your expectations will have to be matched with what is possible in reality!
2. Small Costs adding up
So yes, home weddings can save a lot of money, but couples can also underestimate how much they might need to spend. If you’re hiring in tables, chairs, PA system, décor, catering equipment (…the list goes on), you may massively underestimate how much your budget might need to be.
If you’re having 10 people round your kitchen table and getting a takeaway , that’s considerably less than a large guest list with a marquee hire and private catering, etc.
Before embarking on a home wedding, make sure you’re both really clear about what kind of celebration you envision. What extras will you need? Make sure you get some rental quotes before committing to this idea so you don’t get too many nasty surprises!
3. Logistics
Continuing on from limitations, logistics are an important element to consider.
A few prompts:
- Parking? You might live on a busy road, so where will your guests park?
- Are there public transport routes accessible?
- Bathrooms? Do you only have 1 toilet? If you have 80 guests and one loo…there will be a lot of queuing! You might need to hire external toilets.
- Noise restrictions? Do you have neighbours that would object to music being played till late in the evening?
- Power? Do you have adequate resources to power a PA system, etc? Might you need to hire a generator?
- Privacy? Do you live in an overlooked location? Is your home/garden private enough to make you feel like you’re not being overlooked?
- Kitchen/Catering? How will guests be fed? Do you need to hire external catering equipment? Are you doing the food yourself? Will you need to hire in plates, cutlery, tableware, etc.
- Clean up plan the following day?
- Getting ready space? Do you have somewhere you can relax the morning of? You might consider getting ready at a friend or family member's home or some local accommodation.
The list is endless! This might seem like a mundane mood killer….but it’s important to consider logistics like these before diving into your wedding at home!
4. Preparation & Organisation
Arguably the biggest con is the level of preparation & organisation that is involved in getting married at home. Even if you’re the kind of person that loves creating & organising, having this much involvement in a day that you’re already at the centre of is no small feat.
Many couples can underestimate the mental toll that DIYing your entire wedding as well as making sure you’re relaxed and enjoying the process has.
Chances are you will be busy on the day making sure everything is going to plan, alongside actually trying to relax and enjoy your day.
You might consider bringing in an on the day co-ordinator or have a dedicated group of family/friends to oversee the day.
Below is a piece of writing from a couple who had a beautiful wedding at their home. Their serene cottage was the perfect backdrop for their celebration, the day entirely authentic to the couple that they are.
Karen writes about the joys of hosting at home alongside the challenges they worked through.
“Deciding to host your wedding at home can feel limiting at first - the layout or size of your space may dictate the number of guests and the style of the event. Since our home is a small cottage, we had to get creative with how we used every bit of space. On top of that, we were planning a winter wedding, which meant shelter from the cold and rain was essential. And we were determined to have a sit-down dinner.
But in the end, those constraints brought clarity and focus to our plans. For us, the goal was an intimate, joy-filled occasion with close family and friends—and that's exactly what we created.
It’s worth thinking hard about the kind of atmosphere you want to create. Priya Parker’s book The Art of Gathering is a fantastic read. She points out, for example, that while a hot dance party might require 40m² for 80 people, a formal dinner might only need the same space for 20. That insight helped us shape our expectations.
In our case, the space available for trestle tables and bench seating capped our guest list at 40. That limitation turned out to be a positive, as it meant we could truly connect with each guest and spend quality time with everyone. Keeping everyone close together also generated warmth and energy - the conversation volume was high!
We took inspiration from our Italian friend’s fun, communal lunches, where everyone contributes to the meal. Some of the guests offered to help prepare and cook the food. Not only did this make the day more affordable, but it also meant everyone had a sense of ownership in the event’s success. And the food? It was exactly what we and our guests love. Very delicious!
If you’re planning to self-cater, one recommendation is to create a clear, written menu. Break it down into stages of service, note who is responsible for each dish, and include dietary information. Print and display copies in both the kitchen and dining areas. That way, anyone with dietary needs can see what’s available, and any helpers in the kitchen can easily jump in and understand what needs to be done next.
That said, guests are there to enjoy themselves, so it’s a great idea to have a couple of dedicated helpers to keep things flowing. They can make sure drinks are topped up, platters are circulated, and used dishes are collected. (Don’t forget to assign someone to run the dishwasher!) We heard from another couple who had a fantastic at-home wedding with a band in the backyard, only to come home the next day to an absolute bomb site!
Other key considerations include access to bathrooms, ease of movement for less mobile guests, and how music will work across different spaces. Walk through each stage of the day and think about guest flow: how they’ll arrive, where they’ll stand or sit (and for how long), and whether furniture needs to be moved between stages. And of course, have a solid plan for bad weather!
One of the best things about marrying at home is how the memories linger in the space itself. Spending time at home post-wedding, we’re reminded of how it was on that magical day. It was exactly the day we wanted - intimate, meaningful, fun - and everyone who came said they loved it too.
And most importantly, it was so us”.