What Actually Happens In A Marriage Ceremony?
What can you include in your ceremony in Aotearoa New Zealand?
One of the things I hear most when sitting down with couple’s is “what can we actually include in our ceremony? What are the options?”
Legally in New Zealand there are 3 requirements that must be included in your ceremony:
1. Two witnesses must be present. They can be anyone from anywhere, as long as they understand the language spoken & could give a testimony for your marriage.
2. Your full names must be spoken (by me or yourselves).
3. Some iteration of this declaration must be included “I ____take you___to be my legal partner/husband/wife”.
After the legal declaration has been exchanged yourselves, your witnesses and celebrant will all sign some paperwork (BDM 45 &45A) which will be used to register your marriage.
And the rest of your ceremony…….entirely your choice!
Below is a possible format where I cover some of the elements you could include.
1. Housekeeping
If you’re having an unplugged ceremony this is the time for me to tell guests to put away those devices!!
2. Processional
An entrance of one or both partners, typically to music. You could skip this entirely, walk down together, have a wedding party or parents walk down with you. The choices are endless!
3. Your Story
This is a chance for you and your guests to reflect on everything that has led you to your wedding day!
4. A Reading
A great way to add personalisation and include a loved one.
5. Vows
Your opportunity to share your personal vows, or maybe keep it simple with just the legal declaration.
6. Ring Exchange
The exchange of marriage rings. A ring warming is a lovely inclusion here too!
7. Another Ritual
A hand fasting or sand ceremony could go beautifully here. Or maybe there’s something else from your culture or heritage you could include?
8. Pronouncement
I announce you as married!
9. Sign Paperwork
With your two witnesses we sign the paperwork that I will send off to register your marriage.
10. Presentation & Recessional
I announce you however you’d like & you exit out of the ceremony, often walking back down an aisle.